One can never have enough beer

Fist pump, push-up, chapstick.

So. Tired. Sleeping allll day tomorrow

I cried too much this evening to sleep. Plus I took a long nap. Stupid nap.

Driving to Beaumont this weekend. I’m so terrified.

This past saturday, I had an unfortunate event occur within my extended family and it scared the crap out of me. I was so scared and nervous for my family member, I had a nervous break down. 
I decided to go out to get my mind off of it, but that did not help. When I got home and into my pjs and ready for bed it all hit me. At once. It felt like an 18-wheeler hit me in the chest and I became a wreck. I don’t pray or go to church but with the realization that I might lose someone I love most in this world shattered me. I broke down and began to pray. I begged for this persons safety and health and that they’d make it and keep going to see me graduate from college, get married, and meet their future family, aka my children. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night scared out of my mind. I had nightmare after nightmare until I woke up in a frenzy. I called my father to make sure he was still coming to visit me, thankfully he was. I then called my mother and asked how this family member is doing and she said they had made it through the night and the doctors have a little hope. This person has been in the hospital since Saturday morning, touch and go. I’m not a religious person in the least, but knowing that “God” and “Jesus” and “Mary” (for those of you who are Catholic) have put everything I’ve said about the Catholic church aside and “heard” my begging for this persons life made me feel better. I now know this God is compassionate and truly forgiving.

I’m still not religious, but for this family member I will set my stubbornness aside and become vulnerable and do as they do for me every single day, pray for me.